Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Love Week-- Day 1-- Let Me Count The Ways

(This is about writing, I swear! I'm not even going to put it in #Off-Topic. Because it's not. Ha).

So this weekend is the Big Day. This is not a drill, people!

*Ahem*. Excuse me. See, I was ever the hopeful "Will my super-secret admirer shower me with love and affection today? THIS day?" girl growing up. (And no, they never did. Sad, I know. It's okay. Don't feel bad for me. I'm gettin' married!!!)

Well, V-Day hasn't gotten much better since I've been with WF. Not his fault, you understand. Totally mine. When we first started hanging out, in that weird we-like-each-other-but-still-trying-to-make-sure-you're-not-completely-psycho limbo, I was vehemently anti-dating. I was single, and loud, and proud! The first time we hung out outside of school was the night before Valentine's Day. At which he boldly asked me what I was doing the next night, and I, so obtusely, proceeded to tell him that a.) I was attending an Anti-Valentine party with mah girls, and b.) I didn't "get" V-day, and hated flowers, and blahblahblah.

Yeah. It's taken two years of re-training to fix that mistake. (Except for the flowers. He "hates" them too. By which I mean, he actually hates them).

Anyway, it doesn't really bother me, and I have no real attachment to V-Day anymore anyway, because we started dating almost exactly two weeks later and turned February-March into a love fest. We have V-Day, our dating anniversary, and his birthday all within four weeks. So I'm not lacking for opportunities to show him I love him. And there's a few in there for him to show it back.

I think I don't care so much about V-Day anymore because he shows me all the time that he loves me anyway. And I show him. It's the little things he does every day that have totally killed my need to have "big gestures". I always thought I was a big gesture kinda gal, but turns out that's just because I wasn't getting anything.

So our relationship works for us, because . . . it works for us. We just are these kind of people. I'm not a raging, "I can't believe you forgot and didn't get me any flowers!" kind of fiancee (hee hee-- still get a kick out of saying that). Even though with another guy I might have been. Also, I do realize that a large part of why he hasn't made a big deal about V-Day before is my fault. And I'm okay with the way things have been anyway.

So here's the part to do with writing. How do your characters, in love, show each other? Do they have tension because something isn't working? Are your characters more big-gesture kind of folks? If you're a romance writer, probably. Or are they more subtle, like WF and I, showing each other every day in little ways instead of all at once?


  1. I, too, am not a fan of flowers (roses smell awful, IMO), but my wife and I started dating on V-day, so it holds a special place for me (though I trend toward those gold/silver coated flowers from romanceher.com b/c then I don't have to deal w/ the aroma ;)

  2. Awwwww... see, we almost started dating on V-Day, except I was all stubborn. That's a great solution, though!

  3. Yeah, I'm not a fan of V-Day. My husband and I never used to celebrate it, but once you add a kid into the mix it's nice to have a day in the middle of winter to show your love. Of course, I have no idea what to get him this year- we boycott chocolates and flowers. A bottle of scotch, maybe?

  4. My characters are still in the "love is gross, not even on our radar" phase. (They're 10.) Maybe in book 2, if it ever gets written, when they're 16, it'll happen. But my MC would definitely not be a "big gesture" person.

  5. Steph T.-- Ha; sounds good to me. WF hates chocolate, too, so I'm going for material gifts instead.

    Steph M.--Good point. I didn't even think about you MG and YA writers when I wrote this!

  6. You know, now that I think of it, I've never really written about characters that are long term I want to marry you in love. I've written about two people figuring out that they like each other, the anticipation and all that other stuff.
    As far as V-day, my boyfriend and I will celebrate it in Vegas two weeks after the fact...soooo excited. Well, celebrating V day isn't the whole reason we're going to Vegas. He has an interview for Dental School at UNLV. But whenever I think of Vegas. I think of the movie Hangover. And I wonder if I'll be lucky enough to find a tiger in my bathroom and a stripper's baby in my closet.

  7. Aw, everyday love is the best kind. My characters are 12 so they really don't do too much to show love (even though there is a bit in the background sometimes.

    However, my husband, shows love in pretty sweet ways. I do like flowers occasionally, but what I love is when he cleans something. Like last night, he completely cleaned out the laundry room (which was nasty), all by himself, without being asked. That is true love to me. :)