Thursday, October 24, 2013

Giraffes are awesome! (And also kind of jerks)

If you're a big fan of giraffes, you may not want to read this post. It might change your view of them.

If you hate giraffes, you're probably not going to find anything here to REALLY fuel your rage. But it might help vindicate you a little bit.

If you're neutral or kinda meh on giraffes, well-- you're in the right place, my friend!

Giraffes (or giraffe, as the commonly accepted singular/plural), are pretty freaking awesome!

They have extreme vertebrae! Giraffe have seven vertebrae in their necks, just like us humans. But while ours are a centimeter or so thick, a giraffe's neck vertebrae are a little under a foot long each. A fully grown giraffe can have a six foot long neck!

Speaking of six feet, giraffe moms give birth while standing up! Baby giraffes have a six foot fall to welcome them into the world. Luckily, baby is also about six feet tall at birth, so it's more of a slide than a thump. But we think the jolt might help baby take its first breath, and possibly break the umbilical cord.

Giraffes' tongues can be up to eighteen inches long! The general rule is that for every foot a giraffe is tall, their tongue will be an inch long. So for an eighteen foot tall giraffe, their tongue will be about eighteen inches long.

Their tongues are a dark purple/ black color! At least the first 6-7 inches or so. Why? Simple: sunscreen.

They eat dead animals! 


Wait, what?

Yeah. It's true. This is the life-changing giraffe fact, and your little Halloween twist. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Wait! Come back! There's a good reason, I swear!

Giraffe sometimes eat the carcasses of dead birds and other small animals. You thought they were herbivores, huh? Well, they mostly are. The eating of carcasses isn't for the meat, it's for the bones. Which sounds worse until you realize that plants don't have a whole lot of calcium in them, and the giraffe has a massive skeleton to support. For healthy bone growth, they need to source the calcium from somewhere.


There's more where this came from (MY BRAAAAAAAAAINSSSSSSS) but that's all for today, kids! Enjoy!


  1. I'm never going to look at giraffes the same way again.

  2. Woah! That's amazing in a kind of gross way. I will definitely be looking at them in a different (enlightened, not judgy) way next time I see them!