Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Cat Burfler

*This post is about cat vomit. If you are offended by cat vomit, do not read on.*

She comes in the night, or during the day while we're at work.

She knows us-- too well, it would seem, because she knows when we're most likely to not be home, or not paying attention.

She bides her time, waiting until the perfect moment, and then burfles on our bed.

It was imperceptible at first; just a tiny puddle on the comforter. But as she learned our limits, she began to push them. Soon, it was several times a night. From the comforter to the under blanket, to one day-- when she was bravest of all-- our sheets.

Her stealth is unparalleled; she is the whisper of a ghost. One moment there, the next gone, leaving only her calling card and a load of laundry for the next day.

I wash our sheets daily with bitter tears.

I can feel her greediness increasing with each incident. Like a grasping demon she claws for the next big score, and I know what the ultimate prize is-- our pillows. I dread the day I come home--or wake up-- to find my worst fears are true. There are some things that cannot be taken back, no matter how good the return policy.

So I write this post out of respect for our cat burfler, that she may be appeased and leave us to a restful night's sleep without the unpleasant discovery of the shattering of our dreams.

Oh-- we believe we may have pictorial evidence of the culprit. If you squint really hard in this picture, we feel she may be the dark, soul-sucking shadow over our other cat. If anyone sees this cat burfler, do not approach. Please just leave a comment here letting me know and we will contact the appropriate authorities.

Edit: Picture was broken, should be fixed (if a little smaller) now.


  1. Said dark shadow definitely looks like the culprit to me.

  2. I know! That shadow just looks... guilty, amiright?

  3. Burfling kitties and kitties who steal headbands. Ay yi yi!


  5. Ha ha -- thankful we've got our dog -- i.e., the vacuum cleaner -- to deal w/ most of our attacks.

  6. You know, a vacuum cleaner would be useful. I keep trying to talk WF into maybe getting one but actually we both agree that we don't want one in our current house.

    But sometimes I feel like having one would help keep the killer kittens in check...

    And no, I'm not talking about the appliance, in case anyone is wondering. We already have one of those.

  7. Elana-- Hm, now I may have to find a way to incorporate cat vomit more often...