Friday, June 11, 2010


I've officially reached an internal milestone, and I'm proud to share it. No, I didn't get an agent. Still workin' on that. Hence the "internal," but I wanted to clear that up up front.

This isn't one of those milestones that you can point to and say, then--right then-- is when it happened. It's more a cumulative one that I've just realized was there.

I figured out why I want to write.

See, before, I just felt this drive--this urge-- this need to write. It made no sense and gave me no reasons. I just had stories in my head and I wanted them on paper.

Or did I?

Once my first novel was done, I was excited to start querying. I, like so many others before and after me, was self-assured that *I* was different. That my first query might land me an agent because isn't that the way it's supposed to happen?

But even when the rejections started pouring in, and then as I realized that that story probably wasn't going anywhere, and then got the idea for and started writing my second novel, I didn't really get why I was doing any of this. What was I expecting to get from this, anyway?

And you know, I didn't figure it out until very recently. I was thinking about, you know, everything and started to ask myself those questions. Why? Was it money? No. My immediate and firm reaction was that I didn't care about the money. Was it fame? No. Not likely to happen anyway, and it's not what's driving me-- at least not the paparazzi kind of fame.

I realized, what it is, is that I want to walk into a bookstore and see my book on the shelf. I want to hear people talk about my book and how it's touched them and how they've grown or learned from it. I want my stories to be out there, for people to share with their friends and family. MY words, preserved in time, touching people. I want my books to last.

So yes, I DO want to be published. But it's not for money or fame. Personally, I don't care if people remember my name, so long as they remember my stories.

Have you figured out why you write?


  1. Fame, glory, fortune... I'm not supposed to admit that, right ;)

  2. Is this Bane, or a new Joshua?

    Either way, admit away-- there's certainly no shame in wanting those things. I think we all do at least a little.

  3. Pretty much the same for me-- but I also want my books and stories to make people think about things in a different way than they did before, or want to learn more about the mythology I'm playing with, or see it in a way they never considered before. I want to share, and I want to enable dialogues and discussions by doing so!

  4. Amalia-- totally get that. Me too!

  5. Now, this won't be confusing now that I've switched to a shorter, more doggish (maybe headless) version :)

  6. I write because it's the only thing that combines my love of everything else into one compact package.

    That and I have far too many stories bursting to get out of my head.

  7. Bane/Bane-- yes, very trixie. Trixie dogseses, yes.


    Matt- Good point. I'd agree!

  8. I want the same thing- my book on the shelf. I also wanted to tell Hatshepsut's story because I've yet to find someone tell it the way I wanted.

    I'm glad you had your Aha! moment. :)

  9. I don't want to write for other people, for I will always find some who dislike it, and I don't want that weighing me down.

    I forget where I read it now, but one of the best pieces of advice on writing was "Write for yourself. Write because you enjoy it, enjoy reading your stories." That is the approach I want to take. Nice blog btw.