Broken apart and stitched back together-- or, the writing of a novel

Such a large part of writing is lonely. I know loneliness all too well right now. Four hours of my day (at least during the week) is full of the companionship of new marriage, and that's often the best, most peaceful four hours I have. But then he has to go to bed, and I'm still not tired, and then I'm alone again. As much as I wish they did, the cats don't really count for company. No matter how much I talk to them it's always a one-way conversation.

I find myself more and more often following him to bed anyway, unable to sleep but unwilling to stay up by myself any longer, content to let the characters roll around in my head and talk amongst themselves until they at last let me go and I can drift away.

Such a large part of writing is lonely. And the definition of crazy, I might add: people in my head, talking to me at all hours of the day. People no one else can hear, or see, or even imagine, at least not until I set my fingers to the keyboard and tap out their lives. I must be mad.

A mad and vengeful god. I torment those people to within an inch of their lives and sometimes beyond, and I bring them back for more, and I yank them and twist them and shatter them until I feel that they've had enough, all for the sake of my own imagination, and another, even more mythical creature: the Reader.

And then I lament. I type "The End" and I go back over the whole thing and writhe in agony that no, no, that whole bit is just WRONG and I fix it and I wish I were a better writer and I obsess over several uses of the same word, even while the characters STILL won't let me sleep at a decent hour.

When I finally both can bear it and can't take it any longer, I let other people into my sad, sick little world, and I wait. And those people-- the real people-- they become that mythical creature: the Reader. And they read what I've written while I practice wearing grooves in hardwood floors and eating large quantities of sugar.

And that is when writing isn't lonely anymore. Suddenly, my world is populated with other minds. Other minds who know my characters. Other minds who grapple with their desires and their fears. Other minds who get. it.

That is why I write.

Community Service, or, why I hate myself

To be fair, the title's misleading. I don't *really* hate myself. I just enjoy making it look like I do. And I'm not doing court-ordered community service, either. Just the usual hey, look, I'm not busy enough already planning my less-than-four-month away wedding so hows about I go and volunteer at not one, not two, but THREE new places?

Yeah, I'm insane.

Plus a friend of mine is looking to buy her first house, so I've been busy with that. (I am one of those slimy real estate agents, in case you didn't know-- but I just carry the card, I don't work at it for a living).

Then of course there's all the stuff that five months ago sounded like great ideas to make myself for the wedding that now seem like ideas from Hades itself to actually do.

And last of all is the writing. And last last of all is the blogging.

I'm so close to knocking out a first draft of the mystery I'm working on that it's insane, and yet, I'm spinning my wheels. Mostly because I dread the ginormous amount of work I'll have to do after the first draft is done-- adding subplots and expanding sections-- but I'm looking forward to it, too. I just know how much work it's going to be, and I'm thinking, do I really want to start THAT right now?

So what does this mean? It means I am going to be a whiny, sporadic blogger (here, at least) at best-- until after the wedding. I love you guys (*sniff), and I wouldn't be here, doing this, if it weren't for you. Don't think I don't care-- I Just. Don't. Have. The. Time. And since I don't have any exciting news to share, I don't have much to say either. However, buck up, chums-- you can still find me at the Archives every Monday, and maybe I'll share some of my other, un-writerly-related adventures here in the meantime.

Also also: to everyone-- I am READING all of your posts, my apologies if I am not commenting on all of them.

Bear with me. You know I'll be back, with a vengeance! :)

Compelled

I've officially reached an internal milestone, and I'm proud to share it. No, I didn't get an agent. Still workin' on that. Hence the "internal," but I wanted to clear that up up front.

This isn't one of those milestones that you can point to and say, then--right then-- is when it happened. It's more a cumulative one that I've just realized was there.

I figured out why I want to write.

See, before, I just felt this drive--this urge-- this need to write. It made no sense and gave me no reasons. I just had stories in my head and I wanted them on paper.

Or did I?

Once my first novel was done, I was excited to start querying. I, like so many others before and after me, was self-assured that *I* was different. That my first query might land me an agent because isn't that the way it's supposed to happen?

But even when the rejections started pouring in, and then as I realized that that story probably wasn't going anywhere, and then got the idea for and started writing my second novel, I didn't really get why I was doing any of this. What was I expecting to get from this, anyway?

And you know, I didn't figure it out until very recently. I was thinking about, you know, everything and started to ask myself those questions. Why? Was it money? No. My immediate and firm reaction was that I didn't care about the money. Was it fame? No. Not likely to happen anyway, and it's not what's driving me-- at least not the paparazzi kind of fame.

I realized, what it is, is that I want to walk into a bookstore and see my book on the shelf. I want to hear people talk about my book and how it's touched them and how they've grown or learned from it. I want my stories to be out there, for people to share with their friends and family. MY words, preserved in time, touching people. I want my books to last.

So yes, I DO want to be published. But it's not for money or fame. Personally, I don't care if people remember my name, so long as they remember my stories.

Have you figured out why you write?

Short Stories

(How has it been over a week since I blogged last? WHOA. Sorry about that, folks).

So I guess you could say that I've ventured into new territory as a writer.

Not that this is unusual, you understand. Since I really started trying to write a little over a year-and-a-half ago, I have written (or am still working on) projects in:

Fantasy
Commercial Fiction
Urban/Contemporary Fantasy
Cozy Mystery

And now I am adding "horror" to that list. I just finished a short horror story, and while it originally came to me as the impetus for a novel, I immediately stopped that firmly in its tracks, and for good reason-- I'm currently still writing two other novels. No need to add a third. And this one was PUSHY. Kept writing itself in my head while I was trying to go to sleep. So I decided to turn it into a short story-- something I could finish quickly and get the story out of my head so it wasn't running circles around my other projects.

And so my evil child short story was born, drafted, and done at about 4,700 words. A little long for a short story, but the anthology press I have my eye on takes up to 7,500.

Anyway, moving on-- my point for today (and possibly this whole week, as you scan your eyes over the barren desert of my blog) is that I don't think in terms of limits for myself as a writer. If I get an idea, I write it. And you know what? It's been incredibly liberating to do so. If you'd asked me a year ago if I could write a story about a black guy that turns white, the answer was no. In June or July when I got the idea, the answer was still no. But when it pestered me until I wrote it out, it was easier than I thought. And it helped me grow so much as a writer. Now, I wouldn't give that story back for anything, even though I originally thought "wouldn't that be great for someone else to write one day."

What writing V taught me though, is that I CAN write things that I think I can't. And the same thing goes for horror. I never would have thought to touch a story like this last year. Now, it's done-- and it creeped me out to write it, but I kinda like it.

In some ways, being an un-agented, un-published author is an advantage. I don't have a name built up as a YA writer, or a high fantasy writer, and therefore an agent, editor, and rabid fans awaiting my next release in that category, and only that category. I'm still just a writer, and I can write whatever I want, whenever I want.

I'm going to embrace my freedom for now and write what takes my fancy.

Have you ever written something that you thought you weren't capable of, or outside your comfort range? Do you stick to one genre?

Trying on a new hat

I saw Alice In Wonderland last night, and it got me thinking about hats. (Great movie, by the way. Strange, but not unusual for the standard Tim Burton/ Johnny Depp/ Danny Elfman fare).

We've all heard the phrase "wear many hats". And as writers, we have a unique opportunity to do so. What's to stop us from wearing many hats? What's to stop us from being horror writers, and YA writers, and journalistic writers, and taking alternate Saturdays to show our prize-winning roses?

Well, the publishing industry, for one. Tradition/ publishing etiquette/ publishing edict dictate that THOU SHALT WRITE ONLY ONE. But this hasn't stopped some writers; writers like Stephen King and Neil Gaiman cross boundaries all the time. So why can't we?

Well, the answer isn't that we can't. (It's also somewhat that if you're Stephen King or Neil Gaiman, you can just lick some paper and it will be a bestseller). The answer is complicated, and not easy to explain, but I'll try. First of all, a lot of writers are just more comfortable in a certain genre. They *are* horror, or YA, or journalism. It's how they think, feel, grow. It's where the ideas come from. It's the garden in which they grow their thoughts. They simply have no desire to wear a top hat one day and a saucy little chapeau the next. There's nothing wrong with that.

But then there are those who juggle hats like. . . a hat juggler. (Strong on the metaphors today I am not). They play three instruments, ride elephants and unicorns, sew, paint, build and garden (no, I'm not talking about myself-- obviously I don't have any unicorns. Yet). They write sci-fi when they wake up and thrillers before bed. Perhaps if you are already used to wearing many hats, it's not so hard to try on a new one. There's nothing wrong with a new hat.

Then there are those who only ever put on their beret/ hockey mask/ ball cap every day because they feel that's what they should wear. That's what the established authority says they should wear, and they will wear it. There's nothing wrong with this, either.

Me, well, I'm complicated, too. I think I've found a home in commercial fiction, but fantasy creeps in even there. I don't know what else I'd write though. And there is that whole "establishment" thing.

So, where do you fall? Are you comfortable trying new hats, or do you stick to one? If you could try on a new hat, what would it be?

Patience Is A Virtue, Day #4-- Because It's Worth It, and Mad Libs Words Day

Sorry, I don't have a cute animal pic today :( Not even of my kittens!

Oh, wait, I might:



Here you go! This is my bunny, when she was but a mere 8 weeks old, at my office, with a box on her ears. Yeah, weird, I know. It was cute. So I took a picture. Then promptly removed the box. Sorry it's all fuzzy-- cell phone cameras not so good at capturing adorable memories. Bah.

Her name is HopScotch. Her predecessor, my dearly departed bunny, was named Barley Hops. I have a thing for pun names. At least when it comes to bunnies.

Well, now that I've scared all of you away, let me get back to my message for the day:

Have patience with your writing because it's worth it. It really is, no matter the outcome. You'll better yourself as a person just having tried, whether you make the bestseller list and become the Next Big Thing, or if everything you write stays a secret from the world, a little personal treasure box you can open any time but don't want to share. Learning to write, to craft words above and beyond college papers, is a noble aspiration, and one that will stay with you always. It is, like learning a musical instrument, or a new language, or eating hazelnuts (unless you're allergic), or figure-skating (unless you're me), something that will enrich your life for the rest of your days to come. So take a little pressure off yourself and write, no matter how the stars will align for you. Because you are strong enough to withstand critique and rejection. Because you love it. Because you want it. And because it's worth it.

Also, hey, look at that, it's Friday!! Why don't we celebrate with some Mad Libs?

To play along this week you'll need the following:

Adjective
Noun
Noun
Adjective
Noun
Noun
Verb
Year
Plural Noun
Plural Noun
Noun
Noun
Noun
Verb ending in -ing

It's noun-heavy, so make sure you catch them all.

That thing we all have to do as writers. You know,

Word Count: 37,116

Characterization. Learn it. Love it. Fantasize about bonking it over the head with a cast-iron kettle every now and then. Make it pull over the car and let us out when it doesn't listen to what we're trying to say. Give it the silent treatment for a couple days until it apologizes. You get the general idea.

I've been noticing a trend in tv shows lately. Perhaps it's not a new trend, but to be quite honest, I don't watch much tv. Or I didn't, until lately, which coincides with my noticing of this trend. Hmm. At any rate, the trend is this, and please forgive my formatting because I am not a screenwriter. Clearly.

--PILOT EPISODE (or CHARACTER'S FIRST APPEARANCE)--

**Enter CHARACTER**

**CHARACTER does something SO OVER-THE-TOP and RIDICULOUS that we can't believe they're for real! CHARACTER continues to do OVER-THE-TOP and RIDICULOUS things for the rest of the episode.**

--EPISODE 2--

**Enter CHARACTER**

**CHARACTER is magically a real human being, only retaining some portion of their former RIDICULOUS and OVER-THE-TOP personality. Just enough, in fact, that we can recognize them as THE SAME CHARACTER from the PILOT.**

Here are some examples of what I mean:

In "Dead Like Me," when we first meet Daisy, Daisy Adair, she is so obnoxious you want to smack her. I honestly don't recall how long she stays this way, maybe for a couple episodes, even, but yeah. You spend a lot of time building this hate for her, and then bam: suddenly, she's practically normal, sympathetic to our MC even, and somewhat reasonable, with fringe bits of her original personality shining through at opportune moments. It was flabbergasting.

Poor "Pushing Daisies." Had so much promise, then bam! Cancellation Hammer Smash! Anyway, WB and I watched all two seasons all the way through because as usual, we totally missed the boat when the show was actually on air. So I spent the whole span of the first season expecting Olive to try and wipe Chuck off the face of the planet. It was quite shocking when she defends and even becomes genuine friends with her, despite the first episode showing that she is madly in love with Ned and would do anything to have him.

"Vampire Diaries". Elena spends most of the first episode being totally emo. Totally Bella, in fact. I just get a real mopey feel from her, the "angst-y" teen who lost her parents. Then, next episode, she's magically almost normal. Only a few references to "how sad she is" are scattered through the next few episodes. We get the impression that she's a real arty type in the beginning, too, then bam! Turns out she's a cheerleader? Also, Stefan. Don't even get me started on Stefan. Moody, broody, angst-y vampire who gets on the football team and can't take out his (deliciously) evil brother because he won't drink human blood and therefore isn't strong enough. Oi. I'll keep watching, and no, I haven't read the books, but it felt like a cop-out to me. Of course, it is a teen drama show. So there's that.

So what does this have to do with writing? Well, writing tv shows is a form of writing, so I don't feel too off-base here. But this tactic is a stretch, for me. There are far easier ways to characterize without having to make your character unbelievable for a few pages. You can describe their intimate spaces, for example, such as their bedroom, etc. Describing the kinds of thing that they keep in their personal space is a great way to bring together a collage of your character.

You can describe their wardrobe. My MC in my new WIP currently is wearing Italian leather shoes and a tailored suit--- in the South. But he wants to be known as "rich blood", so it's an expression not only of his taste and the perfection in clothing he learned to seek during his time in the Army, but also his personality laying the trap that he is.

Facial expressions. Turns of phrase. There's just something about a guy who's got splotchy red cheeks and shakes like Jello when he laughs that we all instantly recognize as jolly. If he says, "Ho ho ho!" we know immediately who we're dealing with. If he says, "I'm going to kill you, Timmy!" well, that tells us a lot about him too.

What kind of car do they drive? Or horse, or steam engine? Or do they prefer to walk or bike? These little things give us instant comparisons to people we know with the same qualities, and we can make assumptive leaps into their personality without huge amounts of description to weigh us down.

So, would the tv tactic work with our novels? I say, in small amounts, or for comic relief, sure. But all this does, generally, in tv shows, is annoy me. Suddenly, it's like everything I knew about the character melts away, only coming out when it's convenient to the plot that CHARACTER does something RIDICULOUS and OVER-THE-TOP.

The most important lesson here, though, is that for strong characterization, keep your character CONSISTENT. Don't have them over-the-top in the first chapter, and then morose and boring for the rest of the book. You can still surprise your reader, but they should have a pretty good idea how your character will react to certain situations about mid-way through.

You can space out characterization, too. If it comes all at once it feels too much like the tv tactic, I think. If it's spread evenly throughout your story though, it's nice because we feel like we know them, but much like the real people in our lives, we continue to learn new things about them.

How do you characterize your, um, characters?

**Special FTC Compliance Note: The shows described above did, in fact, provide me with products in exchange for my snarky reviews of them by freely broadcasting episodes on their networks. I hope my readers understand this means I have been compromised, and they should run away immediately, screaming.**

Genre-Bending

Word Count: 37,116

Today I'd like to write about genres.

Not just any genre, no. I want to focus on the beloved YA.

I'll admit it, I'm young. But I'm in my mid-twenties, so I technically qualify as an adult. This is a great place to be, for me. But I am a HUGE SUCKER for YA books. Twilight? Check. Harry Potter? Check. Just about anything else YA? Check.

Which is backwards, because you know what books I was reading in my YA years? Mercedes Lackey. Piers Anthony. Terry Brooks. Ann McCaffrey. Agatha Christie. Michael Crichton.

So what happened? Did I just stop liking "adult" fiction and revert to my lost childhood of reading?

I don't think so. But--- I don't really know what I think, other than that YA is a really open genre. I think its success in recent years is pulling a lot of writers into it to start, and therefore stories that might otherwise have been "adult" fiction are able to access a broader audience by having a younger MC. Now, to be YA, I was told the major rule is that your protag is a YA. So that's a big difference right there. But other than the age(s) of the MC(s), what other differences are there? Why are a lot of adults so drawn to these stories, too, even though the protag is 17/18, etc.?

I can't puzzle it out. All I know is that YA is a genre I'll buy, and I actually feel sometimes like more adults buy them than actual YAs. But it's not a turn-off for me if a novel is YA, whereas sometimes when I think on some modern-day "adult" fiction, I think: boring.

Perhaps my tastes will change as I mature? Maybe I'm still close enough to my teens that I'm ok with a younger voice telling the story.

Or maybe this comes back to the story transcending all else, including genre. If the main character is compelling and I care about them and am interested in their world, maybe it doesn't matter how old they are.

Just some food for thought. What is YA, to you?

The Art of Blogging

Word Count: 32,140

1.- Come up with TOTALLY ORIGINAL! and NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE! idea for blog post.
2.- Spend hours crafting delicately.
3.- Get frustrated and delete.
4.- Spend 15 minutes writing down whatever comes into your head on brilliant topic.
5.- Publish post.
6.- Await accolades.
7.- Whilst awaiting accolades, peruse other blogs and comment.
8.- Find at least two other instances of/ references to/ blog posts about TOTALLY ORIGINAL! and NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE! idea, usually by bloggers who are much smarter and more capable than you, and whom, by the way, if they had only taken 15 minutes to write their post, would still have a brilliant basis for a doctoral dissertation on the topic.
9.- Take down blog post.
10.- Blame post disappearance on hamsters/ gremlins/ similar.
11.- Write TOTALLY ORIGINAL SATIRE! and NEVER BEEN DONE THIS SARCASTICALLY BEFORE! blog post extolling how everyone else already has the same ideas you do.
12.- Await accolades.

. . .

. . .

Well, crap.

The Benefits of Being Cliche

Word Count: 29,868

I've been thinking. (Ah! RUN!)

Being cliche isn't such a bad thing, if you use it properly. You may now be wondering what the heck properly using cliches could be, and I'll happily tell you, then you tell me if you agree.

Here's the closest example to what I mean:

Dialogue tags. The general school of thought is to use beats of action to denote who's talking. But sometimes you can't help but use a "said" or, oh noes, a "replied." Even a lot of the "he stuttered," "murmured," "answered," etc. used in place of "said." These words are invisible to the eye because we are so used to seeing them. The brain jumps right over them and on to the important stuff: the dialogue. And here's where cliches come in.

I think cliches are invisible. I think our brains are so used to knowing what they mean that we immediately infer valuable information from them and move on. Information that may not be able to be conveyed any other way in the story at that moment. So while I know cliches are a general no-no, they do have their purpose.

Take this example from my new WIP. I have three guys sitting in a bar. My MC has just told them that he's ex-Army Special Forces, and the line goes something like:

"[They] look at me as if I've grown a new arm."

Now, this is only one word different than a cliche statement, and when I read it, it takes my mind out of the story very briefly to process the new phrase. Whereas if I had used:

"[They] look at me as if I've grown a third arm."

the brain tends to jump right over this and process it immediately, because it's so familiar. Third arm. Got it. Check. Moving on.

So why is this beneficial? Let's say you've got a scene that's more focused on the action, but you need some setting. You don't want to bog down the action with description, so you can pepper it throughout, but you can also make your description, particularly of lower consequence items or areas, invisible to the reader by using cliche. Her hair shone like the sun. It was a crisp fall morning. It was a dark and stormy night.

Now, in my example above, I am avoiding cliche because I want my reader to slow down here a second and process what I'm trying to say. But if this scene was snappy dialogue and fast paced, I would go ahead and use the cliche, so the reader would infer everything I was trying to say without getting pulled into thinking about what I just said.

Cliches can be broader, too. The setting for most of my book is, by definition, cliche. It's a racist Southern town. There's not much I can do there that hasn't been done. But that's ok. It gives my reader expectations about the town that I don't have to fill in for them. Instead, I can move right on into the twist and NOT-cliche that is my MC. This is probably the single biggest difference I'm feeling between genres right now, by the way. In Fantasy, you have to describe every ounce of your world because no one's seen it before except you. This whatever-I'm-writing is pretty nice because the rules are already there.

I'm not saying your whole book should be cliche, cliche, cliche, especially if it's action packed. Please, don't. But here and there, cliches aren't the awful thing that most writers (at least in my crit group, and a few online) seem to think they are. Sometimes they have benefits.

What are your thoughts?

The Secret Society of the Alliterati

Word Count: Tender subject right now, okay?! Okay, okay. . . twist my arm--- it's still the same.

Ah, writers.

I love us.

I notice things, because I'm cognizant like that. One thing I've noticed in my fairly new wanderings into the blogosphere is how alliterative us writers are.

Actually, what this introduction boils down to is that I couldn't think of a clever alliterative title to go with "Thursday" for today's post. There, I said it. So, I think instead, I am going to try to write this entire post without being overtly alliterative.

Dang. I think "overtly alliterative" means I lost already. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?

Kidding, I won't do that to you. Yet.

At any rate, we are a bunch of dreamers and imaginers. Word craft comes to us as we strive to find new ways to describe new things, or even the same old things. The blog posts and comments of writers are gently crafted, carefully nourished and when able to fly at last, set free into the internet for all to see. It's a beautiful thing.

But I think the thing that I like the most about writers online is that it's like belonging to a (very public) secret society. Some of us are anonymous, others share their real life and name without hesitation. Some of us play things close to the vest regarding our works, others post excerpts and whole chapters. Each member's level of secrecy is different, but everyone comes together into this great shifting whole that is a joy to belong to. I LOVE reading everyone else's thoughts and musings on their work and the writing process, and I love success stories. That's not even to mention the vast amount of knowledge available. I get all of that, here.

For me, it's like a place where I belong. I haven't told very many people in my life that I wrote/ am working on a book. Why? Because they give you that LOOK; you all know the one I'm talking about. The ones I have told have been extremely supportive, but the rest, probably won't know til/when/if it hits the shelves, and I can point to it and say, hey! Look! I wrote a book! (Ok, to be honest, I'll probably spill once I get my first rejection letter. A patient person, I am not.)

It's not that I don't belong in the real world, because obviously there are a few people that know, and I have my crit group, but even there, because it's at a college, I think, pursuing publication is somewhat of a high-falutin' idea. But here, in my secret society, I can freely express my hopes to be on the shelves at B&N someday. And you all support that hope, because you share it.

I am a proud member of the Secret Society of the Alliterati.

Say it with me, now. . . it's time for the Induction Mysteries:

I pledge to support all other writers' hopes and dreams as fully as my own, and to be the writer I want to be here, amongst my fellows.

I'm not going to hold you to that. But seriously, what do you like about blogging/ being a writer online?

I wish I was good at graphic design. I'd make a little badge.

Happy writing!